Raising a Man.

When did my baby get so big. He looks at LEAST three years old in this photo. Must be all of those gorgeous teeth…

Lately, I have been thinking a great deal about the amount of responsibility involved in raising a person. When you plan to have a baby, you think of all of the wonderful possibilities - what they will look like, the sweet smell that emanates from these little beings, what name you will give them, their first steps, their first tooth, their first word, the list goes on. One thing I didn’t think about much was the parenting.  Of course I knew I would be a parent, and that I would set boundaries, and schedules, and so forth. Duh, right? But lately the idea that I am responsible for shaping a tiny mind into a well-adjusted individual or productive member of society, has really been setting in. The pressure is on.

There are so many things I want to teach this boy.  So many values I want to instill in him. I want to teach him to be kind. To know that because he was lucky enough to be born “right” that he should never, ever poke fun at, or make jokes at the expense of those who were born with any sort of disability, or those who may not have the most loving and nurturing environment at home. Rather, he should stand up for them, befriend them, and show them love and kindness. I want him to know that he should stand up for what is right, and for what he believes in, and that it is okay to follow his dreams.  I want to teach him empathy. I long for him to not just be sensitive to the needs and feelings of others, but also to really feel for others in their time of need, and to put himself in their shoes.

I want him to know altruism. To, at times, put his wants and needs on the back burner, and to instead, place others’ needs ahead of his, recognizing what is more important. Most importantly, expecting nothing in return. I want him to be pious and respectful, and an example for others, but he doesn’t have to “lead.” Following is okay, too. Unless he is following others down a dark road - then I want him to recognize it, and be strong enough to break away and make the right decisions.

I want him to speak and act with intention. Knowing that words can cut deeply, and so instead of having a temper, I want to teach him to be mindful of the words escaping his mouth. Thinking before he speaks and reacts.

I don’t think that these wishes for my boy are a far cry from the wishes of any mother for their child. To give love, and be loved in return. To be kind, and be given kindness in return. To know that actions have consequences and that words can hurt.

I think of these values, these wonderful, glorious values, and know that I must lead by example. I need to speak with intention. I need to treat him how I want him to treat others. I need to show him that I treat others with respect, and that sometimes I put the needs of others before myself without hesitation, expecting nothing in return. I need to embody the values that I want to instill in my sweet, gorgeous boy. After all, I am not just raising a child. We are teaching him to be a man. 

At the end of the day all I want for him to be happy. I don’t care what occupation he chooses. I want him to point his creativity and ingenuity in any direction that he wishes. I want him to follow his dreams and to achieve everything that he wants. He is so pure right now, deserving of all of the good in this world. My resolve is to be everything that he deserves and more, and while setting boundaries, also to lead by example. Think of what a wonderful world we would live in if everyone did the same.  Join me, won’t you?