Three years sure does look good on him <3
This is a photo of my bedroom. I sleep on the far side of the bed, a bassinet tucked neatly beside me. I love having Wyatt so close by, just within arms reach throughout the entire night. Jackson was out of our room and sleeping in his crib by 6 weeks of age. It certainly made for a more exhausted mama there for awhile, but since we committed to sleep “training” him (not at six weeks, more like 5 months) he has always been, and continues to be an amazing sleeper in terms of putting himself to sleep and not fighting bedtime. I love the ease that comes with our nighttime routine with Jackson. He knows that we brush teeth, read a story, have a hug + kiss, and then he settles down for sleep while I leave the room and go about my usual business. I contribute a great deal of this success to his comfort level in terms of his crib from an early age.
Wyatt will reach 11 weeks of age on Tuesday, and I just can’t come to terms with him leaving my room. He has been napping in his crib regularly, twice a day, on a regular schedule. I noticed that he was showing signs of sleep around 10 AM daily, so I decided to swaddle him and lay him down one day, and was amazed when he silently put himself to sleep. He does the same thing between 2-3 PM daily, and every time I swaddle him, give him a paci, and he puts. himself. to sleep. I didn’t even know that was a thing at this age, but apparently he is an angel and I am blessed with the most precious baby ever in all of the universe, and he does it, and its easy, so I’m not complaining or questioning, we are going with it.
Anyhow, I go back to work a week from Monday, and know that I am going to be overly exhausted at that point, and that it probably wouldn’t be a horrible idea for all of us to get really good sleep, and that to accomplish that he should probably be in his own room, but man…
He is most likely our last baby. I love having a baby in my room next to me. Every day my rational mind thinks crazy thoughts about how “tonight will be the night. I will place him in his crib and we will all be happy and merry and lovely roses rainbows and butterflies atop purple mountains and world peace!” Then, bedtime comes and I nurse him, swaddle him, and place him right next to me in his lovely bassinet, thinking that “tomorrow is the night, there is no way we are ready for this, if he sleeps in his crib tonight the world. will. end.” It’s a classic tug-of-war over here. Who knows when he will make it to his crib.
When he does start sleeping in his crib, I will have to come to terms with the fact that I will most likely never have a tiny baby tucked in next to my bed ever again. It all comes back to the “ache.” I have said before that I would love to have 152364846 babies. I love them so much when they are little. I can’t afford 152364846 babies, and I don’t want 152364846 teenagers, so we are very likely keeping it at two (don’t get your hopes up grandpa!). I could have 152364846 babies, but still ache for “just one more.” I don’t think that ache will ever really go away. I am going to be old and wrinkly and gray, and still aching for “just one more” baby. I won’t love our two any less - they are amazing and perfect, and they are more than fulfilling, and make our family so much better. But at the same time, I don’t think that ache ever really goes away.
Tonight, at 9:00 PM I swaddled my baby, placed him in his crib and rubbed his sweet little head. It has been an hour since he put himself to sleep, and I am going about my usual business, almost ready for bed myself. I may make tonight the night, after all he is already in his crib. The crazy hormonal-new-mom-of-a-final-baby side of me suspects that I might just go in there and scoop him up only to place him neatly in his bassinet right next to me. Sometimes we just aren’t ready.
Jackson has been remembering parts of his dreams for a few months now. He isn’t great at articulating them all the time, but often in the morning he will talk about how he played with martian mickey, or any other host of characters. We have held off on nightmares up until now, but I knew that they would come sooner or later. And early this morning, he had his first true bad dream.
Around 5:15 this morning, I was awake and feeding Wyatt, and Zac was leaving for work. I heard Jackson start whining and he shrieked once or twice. A minute or so later, he was mumbling something, that started with “my” and I couldn’t quite make it out. At this point he had woken up and started crying and repeating his mumbled words, which turned out to be “my baby wyatt!” He was in distress so I, while still feeding Wyatt, walked into his room to see if everything was ok. I opened the door and he cried about his baby wyatt, so I showed him that Wyatt was just fine, and that I had him with me. After he established that Wyatt was there, he calmed down tremendously and started to tell me about his dream in broken pieces as he cuddled in my bed. I can’t quite grasp what happened in his dream but the gist of it, in Jackson speak was this:
- Wyatt was in his car seat
- Grandma & Grandpa pushed him out
- Mommy pushed him out
- Wyatt was injured
- We left Wyatt
- That’s not nice to push Wyatt out mommy!
It seems that my little sweetheart had a bit of a nightmare about losing the little brother he just got. I have no idea what could have brought it on, and at one point he even mentioned a crash. I have never even uttered the word crash to him in relation to a car or car seat. I am very careful to make sure he knows that his car seat is to keep him safe (epic buckle up battles), but have never used the word crash or accident or wreck.
I know that he will have more nightmares as he continues to grow, and that they will get more complex, and that he will be able to articulate them better. I have certainly had my share of bad dreams - the worst ones always feel so real. It just hurt my heart a little to see him so worked up in the middle of the night. At the same time I swooned a little over the fact that he loves his tiny brother so much already that he is afraid to lose him. They really will be best buds :).
I’m not sure if I have mentioned it on here or not, but I have the happiest, smiliest baby of all time. If you follow me on instagram (@christylately), you are well aware of this fact. He even has his own hashtag (#wyattsmiles if you’d like to check it out) with more than 50 tagged photos of him smiling for the camera…at only 7 weeks old! These shots are a few that I have been able to coax out of him while messing around with my fancypants camera. I must say, it makes it really hard to get anything done with a baby that is THIS happy. I just want to stare at him and bottle up every single ounce of his happiness and good nature. Be jealous - I don’t think they make very many of these ones. I’m pretty darn lucky ;).
365 Project | January 12th - 21st
- January 12, 2014: Basketball
- January 13, 2014: Happy Man!
- January 14, 2014: Brothers.
- January 15: 2014: Slide!
- January 16, 2014: Baby Man
- January 17, 2014: “I’m a Genius!!!”
- January 18, 2014: Tiny Toes
- January 19, 2014: Snugabunny
- January 20, 2014: Ball?
- January 21, 2014: Hot Chocolate
To view the entire project from the beginning, click here.
"Second babies make you want to have third babies." A wise friend of mine said that to me the other day. Nothing has been more on point than that statement. I have always wanted to have two children. Two has always been my limit, but when the second baby is so sweet, it makes it really easy to imagine having a third. Its no secret, I love babies. I would have 128934297 babies if I could. The problem is that I don’t want 128934297 teenagers, and well, they grow up.
With the first baby, I spent a lot of time trying to survive. The fatigue and constant worry was pretty hard on me. I think its the weight of realizing that you are wholly responsible for the life and well-being of another human being. One that you fell so hard and so quickly in love with that you would literally eat your own arm off if it meant they were safe and happy. Literally. It’s a lot to wrap your mind around with that first babe (and all of this doesn’t even take into account the strain on relationships that first babies bring). But the days pass, and your confidence grows, and you realize that you are actually doing it. They start sleeping more and interacting more, and you finally settle into a routine and eventually the dust settles. For me, the baby fever hit when Jackson started being a lot less of a baby, probably around 8-9 months when he started standing and wanting to take steps, and had some teeth and whatnot. We began talking about when to have the second baby and what sort of age difference would be ideal for us (there are 2 3/4 years between these two).
Now that the second baby is here, everything has been easier. The pregnancy was easy, birth was so much easier this time, and the baby is such a freaking gem that I can’t even explain it. I think the real difference is in the whole been-there done-that aspect of parenthood. We already have confidence in ourselves as parents, and we recognize that relationships will take work too and things are going to change, but we already know that things change for the better, and that even if we are exhausted and wholly responsible for his well-being, we are ok with that. And because we have done this all before, I know just how quickly time passes, and how fleeting these days are. Before we know it he is going to be walking and talking and defying us at every turn, and all of a sudden they will be adults. This time, I am doing a much better job of soaking in every single second and savoring the newness of this little person. With the first I was looking forward to each and every milestone and every single new thing he might be able to do or participate in, but with this one I am trying to slow down time and push all of that big boy stuff off.
I’m not sure if we will ever have another baby. I do know that wouldn’t be for at LEAST 5 years. I can’t even believe I am typing this - I have always been so set on two babies, and maybe the reason the second one is so easy because he completes our family. I still love the idea of being a family of four, but I’m never going to say never, besides, Zac keeps hinting at the thought of a third baby, for which I tell him he is crazy, but really. I get it. That’s the thing about second babies - they make you kind of want a third too.
My little cutie man.
Exactly what I needed to hear this morning as I hit my due date and recognize that I am very likely going to be “overdue” for the second time. Why my babies don’t want to come outta there, I’ll never understand.
We have been soaking up the last days of my big boy as an only child. At 38 weeks, I am acutely aware that any day could be his last day as my only baby. I have to admit that as excited as we are to give Jackson a baby brother, I also find it to be a little bittersweet. I am hoping for a smooth transition into family of four, mother of two, big brother, but know that it could be really tough for my little man to have his world turned upside down. I wanted to be able to have a visual representation of his last days as the only baby to look back on and really feel the fun we always have, just the two of us. I know that we will still be able to have fun, just the two of us times, but also recognize that for the foreseeable future, it will be the three of us, four if you count daddy ;).